So, how are we? - a letter to the past

Greetings. It is I. The improved Hanna. So glad I'm out of the embarrassing phase (which you can easily see from previous posts).

Alright since I'm the only one who will read my own blog (in the future, maybe. Because I'll probably wont go back here for a looong time), lets just start the recap and progress over these short years

You're 19 years and 2 months old. Next week you start the 2nd semester of Uni. You're majoring in Psychology. Surprise, surprise. You wanted to be a fashion designer or an architect back when you were like 10-12 years old. But shit happened, you were a mess (kinda still).So when you were in the 11th grade, you decided that you want to major in Psychology.

I read the old posts and bOIII fangirling was fun. But now that word makes me cringe. Congrats though, you made it to a One Direction concert on the 25th of March 2015. Zayn quit and you found out about that in the car after you just enjoyed the concert. After that being your first concert, you realized how much you enjoy concerts. Jangan berhenti nabung!!! Its great and very satisfying when you finally get what you want. 2 months from now you will see Daniel Caesar. Insyaa Allah.

High school. Man... It made you realize things and learn new stuff. Jangan takut untuk berteman. Seriously, just approach people because who knows they'll end up click with you right away and have so much in common with you!!

Jangan langsung percaya apa kata orang tentang jeleknya orang lain. Toh kalau memang ujung-ujungnya bener apa kata mereka, seengganya lo berkesempatan untuk mengetahui sisi baik dari mereka dan potensi mereka utk menjadi orang yang baik. Gaada yang sia-sia kok. Daripada lo dosa ngomongin orang (DIKURANGIN YA BEBB. Tapi udh improve kok, gak kayak pas SD dulu). Speaking of SD, you still have some friends from mxc who are willing to stick with you through all these years and your bullshit. 

Moving on to Uni. Not only you suck at math and tried to avoid it, you still got it. You almost failed your Statistics class. Berkat doa dan usaha (yang pas-pasan karena lo gak mampu), alhamdulillah selamat lah ya. Lets take a few step backs for a bit.

Before deciding to major in Psychology, you really dont know where you were going. You cried a couple times and in front of your sister too which was really a breaking point because you really dont like crying in front of anyone. You wanted to study abroad too but of course, its impossible in this household. Turns out some campus had an international program and you could actually study abroad for 2 years. So fast forward to the 12th grade, you found out that you could apply for the Uni selection through report cards. You immediately applied for the international program because lets be real here, literally everyone whose grades were higher than you wanted to get in Psych too. But you knew that you wanted to get in the international program too. Sebenarnya nggak yakin tapi harus nekat sih. Gimana bayar uang kuliahnya? ok pikirin nanti aja, baru daftar kan? itu yg gue pikirin waktu itu. 

When Uni was about to start, you did not feel good at all. The whole month before it started made you sick and thought about how much you hated yourself lmaaoooo what a fuckin trigger. But it turned out OK. In 2 months, you already made friends and you were happy and felt like you could be yourself around them. You started to write in a journal and at the end of 2017, I looked through it and saw that you/I/WE progressed. You started off really dark and miserable but then you were happy and content, and I'm soooo proud. 

So in conclusion:

-dont worry about shit that hasn't even happen yet

-berusaha utk selalu nabung terus

-ungkapan 'do what makes you happy' itu 100% benar dan membuat lo merasa lebih baik

So, how are we today and back then?

Jakarta, 30th January 2018.

-hnm